Websites That Are The Worst (vol. I & II)

A while ago I started writing things on my MSN Space, a while ago I also stopped doing that.  I don’t mean to sound humble, but what I wrote was pretty inspired.  So I’m going to put the few things from my career as an MSN Spacer onto here for you to enjoy.  Beginning with my two articles looking at websites that are the worst, hope you like!

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August 19, 2004

Websites That Are The Worst (vol. I)

Me and some of my friends have realised that the only thing better than a great movie, is an awful movie. So I figured that the same would apply to websites. But the good thing about websites is that you don’t have to waste $4.25 (or $13.00 for you idiots that don’t go to Rainbow) and an hour to get enjoyment out of them. But I know, who has the kind of time to look through websites to find the absolute WORST ones, well I do. So here you go.

1) http://www.cryingwhileeating.com/

This website is just what it sounds like, videos of people crying while eating. All I’ve got to say is -__________________________________________-

But I guess if this is how you get your jollies, its a lot easier than punching people in the school cafeteria, which could result in you getting wing-chuned.

2) http://www.snapbubbles.com/

I’m sorry this is just STUPID. A site with virtual bubble wrap to pop. I’m sorry if you have so much time on your hands that you can afford to “have fun” at this site you aren’t bored you’re just an idiot.

3) http://www.expage.com/ihatehorses

I’m sorry I ever stumbled upon this little wealth of knowledge, obviously written by an honours student.

4) http://www.amasci.com/weird/microexp.html

This website isn’t so much the worst as it is just plain stupid. It’s stupid experiments to do with your microwave. You know out there some kids are gonna try these. PLEASE DON’T DO THESE!!! I’m talking to you Joseph, you mad scientist.

5) http://www.worldrps.com/gambits.html

Ok, I know I say that there is a lot of strategy behind rock, paper, scissors, and I actually do think that. But what this site talks about isn’t exactly what I mean, this is just the worst.

Well that’s all for now, vol. II is already being compiled by our team of experts…me. Comments are always appreciated. Hope these sites didn’t kill to many of your brain cells.

-David “The Un-Worst” _____

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March 12, 2005

Websites That Are The Worst (vol.II)

Well it’s March Break, and today I find myself without any plans. This means I could:

a) read my novel for History

b) practice my piece for Music

c) waste my well earned time, on the internet

The answer seemed clear. So I decided to put up volume two of websites that are the worst, since the first one was met with the thunderous sounds of crickets. Ah well. Without further delay, I give you another five websites which are simply the worst.

1) http://www.staregame.com/facea4open.htm We’ll start things off with this doozy. It’s a staring contest…with the computer. Alright the fact that I have time to look on the internet for terrible websites is pretty bad, but if you have time to have a staring contest with a f*cking computer you are beyond help. The whole notion is ridiculous, it’s basically to see if you can keep your eyes open for a random amount of time before the computer *blinks*. Next.

2) http://www.komar.org/hulk/Well this site is kind of funny. It’s pictures of some moron driving around with a giant inflatable Hulk in his car. Because it’s such a novel idea there are also pictures of this giant Hulk swimming, and selling lemonade. Yeah…

3) http://www.this-page-intentionally-left-blank.org/ This is a group of people with a very very righteous cause. Well I’ll let them explain it themselves: “Nowadays the “This Page Intentionally Left Blank”-Project (TPILB-Project) tries to introduce these blank pages to the Web again. One reason is to keep alive the remembrance of these famous historical blank pages. But it is the primary reason to offer internet wanderers a place of quietness and simplicity on the overcrowded World Wide Web—a blank page for relaxing the restless mind.” http://www.this-page-intentionally-left-blank.org/whythat.html Very worthwhile cause indeed. If you guys wanna do something helpful go rescue a kitten, or better yet find out where Axl Rose has been hiding all these years, THAT’S a worthwhile cause.

4) http://www.urinal.net/#gallery WOW! A gallery of urinals from around the world! The best one is by far the one from “Red’s Take 5 Sports Bar & Grill”. I guess this is for women who have never seen a urinal before. I know I didn’t get that much enjoyment out of it.

5) http://www.imagespeller.com/ This site is truly shits and giggles. (should’ve wrote that for the last one, it would have sort of been true) You type in your name, or any word, and it spells it out in pictures of letters. I came up with a list of things I would enjoy more than taking part in this website. Here are some of them:

1) counting the number of hairs on my leg

15) reading 50 cent lyrics

38) having sex with a blender

87) telling Ms. Segall to not be so mean…please (I wouldn’t escape with both nuts intact)

10067) being the guy in that Manure video from science

So there you have it another five websites added to the list. Since MSN spaces don’t have counters, it’d be nice if everyone who looked at it could please so nice as to leave a comment? In other words leave a comment f*ckers.

Alright I’m off. Enjoy the freedom people.

-David “with nothing to do” _____

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