Little Bits

For Guys:

He read the first sentence and was a bit baffled. “What?” he said in his head as he read the word in quotations on the computer screen. “Actually he had read all of that in his head”, he said in his head as he read the words on the computer screen. The government plans to raise taxes were defeated. He went back and read the previous sentence a second time and got that the plans the government had to raise taxes were defeated. “WELL HELLO,” he said loudly in his head simply because the words were capitalized. Finally he was at the end of the paragraph? he asked even though it wasn’t really a question.

For Girls:

She read the first sentence and was a bit baffled. “What?” she said in her head as she read the word in quotations on the computer screen. “Actually she had read all of that in her head”, she said in her head as she read the words on the computer screen. The government plans to raise taxes were defeated. She went back and read the previous sentence a second time and got that the plans the government had to raise taxes were defeated. “WELL HELLO,” she said loudly in her head simply because the words were capitalized. Finally she was at the end of the paragraph? she asked even though it wasn’t really a question.

It took me about half an hour, but I’d finally made it to the top of the wall. I let out a satisfied sigh and sat down. I loved coming here to have lunch and get away from the crowds. From up here you could see the whole town, all the way from the river that cut it off on the right, to the thick forest on the left. The hundreds of people bustling around, going about their daily business in their colourful clothes, looking like insignificant automata. They certainly weren’t quite so scary or threatening from where I now sat. It was like observing people from the inside of a house with the lights off. I daresay I even liked –

Just then a huge bird came swooping down towards my lunch; it narrowly missed the leg of chicken in my hand and glided back up. I looked around in a frenzy to see where it had gone. I thought about moving away but the wall was much too high to get down quickly, and too narrow to run along.

I heard a flutter of wings to my right; the bird was about an inch away from my lunch. Without thinking I managed to swipe at it with my right fist. I connected and felt my hand crash against feathers.

The bird let out a squawk and flew away.

The split second of relief that I felt quickly gave way to terror. I’d lost my balance and suddenly felt like I was walking a tightrope. I reached out for the wall but my hand was still holding the chicken leg and the other one held the rest of my lunch. Before I knew it I no longer felt the wall under me, and saw the ground below getting closer and closer. I let out a scream that never made it past my throat.

The impact was sudden and sickening. The ground felt like an unsympathetic adult, scolding me for being so stupid.

Then nothing.

I vaguely noticed the sound of hooves and men rushing around me but it was distant and far off, like someone trying to wake me from a dream.

Then nothing.

A voice again trying to wake me, but I felt like I was underwater looking up at it from below. I drifted around in the murky half-dream for what felt like hours.

Then suddenly a loud voice brought everything back into focus, for a moment at least.

“Mr. Dumpty! Mr. Dumpty! I’m sorry but there’s nothing we can do.”

Then nothing.

“I will call him Spider.”

“Whatever you say Mrs. Man.”

“””””””””Contradictory” said the mute,” typed the caveman,” read the illiterate,” whispered the loud-talker,” shouted the shy person,” sang the pop star,” scrawled the calligrapher,” enunciated the rapper,” wrote the interesting blogger.

He breathed in deeply and held it for as long as he could. The memories and feelings of everyone that had come before coursed through him; he felt them and their energy permeate into every sinew of his soul. Then he exhaled.

He was kneeling in front of an alter in one of the oldest training temples in the world. The stone floor was worn down from years of practice; the air smelled ancient and full of history. He heard the sounds of the dozen or so students in the other rooms as they went through their daily exercises, letting out yelps and groans of effort. He came here every morning to pay respect to the artifacts before he started training. These were the worn down and decaying remnants from the founders of this temple, emblematic of the art-form taught within it. He looked up at the alter and saw the rock, paper and scissors sitting there silently; not making a sound but speaking to very core of his being.

(a unit of language, consisting of one or more spoken sounds or their written representation, that functions as a principal carrier of meaning) (2nd person singular present and 1st, 2nd, 3rd person plural present of be) (to the extent or degree indicated or suggested) (in a high degree; extremely; exceedingly) (inexact or inaccurate)

The lion chased the gazelle across the field and ate it.

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He got off of his bike, this was as good a place as any. He sat on a bench and checked his watch, almost time! Bob stared expectantly to the East, like a kid stares at the clock on Christmas Eve. The anticipation rose in his stomach until he couldn’t take it anymore and had to stand up. 6:34, almost time! He looked back at the thousands of people that lined the streets, every head turned in his direction. But they weren’t looking at him, they were looking anxiously at the horizon beyond him. Even with all the people in the area no one made a sound, but there was something alive in the air. He looked down at his watch and counted silently in his head: ten, nine, eight, seven, six… the excitement in his stomach was ready to spill over, like baking soda mixed with vinegar… three, two, one. His head shot up to the East – nothing. A frantic murmur started emanating from the crowd. He felt the blood drain from his face as the hairs on the back of his neck stood on end. His stomach turned from a pleasant tingle to an icy chill. They were right.

A neighbour of mine book me a cake,
And even mook me a nice milkshake.

“This is because you rook my lawn,
and puck up the leaves before it was dawn!”

I hadn’t yet bat out of the cake,
Or even toke a sip of milkshake.

I couldn’t have lave with myself,
I might have even ped myself,

If I hadn’t admat to being a fake,
And just gew on eating the cake.

“I’m sorry ma’am but I baw a con,
I lew about rooking the lawn!”

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