Automatic Typing

30 Minutes Take Two

giving this another shot. shot of benzedrine i think i was allergic to amoxacilin as a kid but because it tasted like bananas which are strange fruits they become yellow when they are ready to be eaten what a weird colour to indicate eating ready state of fruit which is a word to describe another well move on from there keys onthe keyboard are black like the black keys which are a band that play music a can type out each other album names but i dont want to right now right write wright which one is right ha ha ha ha what a funny soudn to make when things are funny i wonder what advantage that provided out ancestors as a kid but i mean a kid in terms of the human race why a race who is going to win that is a joke ive heard before, that was a little joke voila, praise is due to the plblah blah blah kanye is very tlented but he was a very strange name maybe i should autocorrect this after but i cant think about that now just write whatever comes to mind a waste is a terrible thing to mind. that s interesting teresting in teresting was what i was trying to say pay heydaymaylay clay fray way play ray kay may nay moving ON! rhyming is interesting wht a strange thing it is and what a strange thing it is that we enjoy when things rhyme music rhymes but where did that convention come from. and why is music only sounds and words put together someone decided that at somepoint and it just stuck. doubt s creeping back and i have to forget that and just keep typing. qwerty is what people all these typewriters. its a good thing that the first five keys werent fuckyou thats more than five but i cant count at the moment count dracula is a count he is also on the cover of cereal boxes what a cool thing to be on the cover of. although id rather be on the cover of an album, an album ocver if you will. maybe i will have to correct the spelling. spelling spelling spelling what if i misspelled the word spelling, that is interesting. i like words that sould i mean sound like what they mean. i think that ‘odd’ is one such word. periods and commas… ,,, … ,,, … ,,, comma kind of sounds like what it means but what does it really mean? mountains are green with grass but are mountains actually green, who kows sides of mountains are covered with grass this is true true true ture turing is a test to see if machines possess intelligence is that true? let them try and type non-stop for thirty minutes atnd that will demonstrate intelligence. i havent sworn yet. swearing can mean saying a bad thing and something religious which is interesting i suppose it is because most of the swear words used to be religious. what if they used to be fruits, then swearing would be called producing. well moving on gevetables are a thing i havent talked about yet. i dont like them on sandwiches but i do like them on the side. iceberg lettuce what the fuck is the point in it even existing. but isnt that the real question! wo oh well oh well what the hell does that mean? oh well i should look up where that saying comes from it is a bit strange. i think that this would be better if I spelled better but thats alright its okay, y y y y y is an interesting letter because it waas I mean has three points okay thats just been eight minutes and im fucking exhausted exhaust pipes on cars spill poisoinous gasses into the air so isnt that exhausting. I WANT TO STOP. but i cant because i started and now how would THAT look! i wish I could speak things into existence like God supposedly can. i guess from a certain point of view when you say things they do become existing (horrible way to phrase that no cant worry about that) so when you say things they are created which is cool. can God create a rock that is too heavy for him to lift. how many people have ever said that and felt fucking clever. 152346 by my estimate! why that number? when I look at a number I automatically check if is a multiple of three. weird I suppose. suppose i want to suppose a supposition governor? okay thats alright. why do people spell it OK?? because they are lazy!! spelling OK is NOT what im doing at the moment. I wonder if people that capitalize the letter /I/ when referring to themselves are being cocky? hahaha cocky what a weird work to describe being full of yourself. I wonder if it was a lady or a boy that came up with that definition? you see by saying lady or a boy I tried to avoid sounding sexist, if I had said woman or a man it brings to mind disgusting old convesrvative men (well not slaming conservatives dont worry) but these old people in tutrle necks and mustaches talking about how women should stay in the kitchen and that horse shit. but if I say lady and boy it sounds a bit more innocent, and innocent is what that general wondering was! that is a phrase fromfriends I think that Changler Bing said that! what a stupid name. Friends was a good show! look how much I like it I even took the time to capitalize it! I guess oh wow now I even capitalized the letter I. So I wonder if peopele ever avoid capitalizing the letter I when referring to themselves because they dont like themselves. its interesting that capitalizing the first letter of something shows respect. what is cool is this. fuck the outcome its all about the process, SOMETIMES! it had better be because this outcome wont be very great but this process does feel quite freeing. I wonder why we associate freeing with flying? I suppose thats quite obvious. what a weird sounding word obvious. I like to look at the keys on my keyboard and see which ones have been used the most and are the most worn away. I iuse to use a keyboard cover but I realized that was a bit too Maire Barone ESQUE. marie barone! Everybody Loves Raymond was a good show. the Dad was funny. Guck what inane gibber gabber! Onopatopea is NOT how you spell the word I’m trying to relate to you . Constricting thought into language is like making orange juice, a cup of orange juie out of ten fucking oranges. But at this speed im just struggling to keep the train going. I guess this must be good for something anyway lets move on. saying something lik e”lets move on” sounds pretentious as well. alright radiators and heaters warm the room up like the sun. what is the fascination with the sun? well thats quite ovbious it warms the earth and lets crops grow, which was the most important thing to our ancestors. I dont feel like im properly expressing or s dois doing justice to myself wlike this. Thhis must be what it feels like to struggle to get words out in a foreign language. Language is such an amazing thing. I would like to use other adjectives but it might sound pretentious. letters I think that letters I think that letters I think that letters. I would like to find the linguistic equivalent of chord progressions. That would be very interesting. when I post this on Facebook maybe I shouldn’t post it because people will raise their eyebrows at it. I would hate it if people raised their eyebrows at me! fuck them. glasses are interesting. not the ones that you put on your nose but the ones that you drink out of silly! they are these objects that hold a liquid in a certain position in mid air when otherwise it would just collapse and go everytwere! pretty cool. glassses that go on your nose are prety ineresting as well. I saw a TED talk about an intentor that had had invented glasses makde made with water and that were entirely adjustable and cost something like eight dollars. you should fill them with beer and call them beer Goggles HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA funny man I am well not a man exactly. anyway the number seven looks cool, quite different from the mumber eight which it immediately predecesses. well then i see that I only have ten mintues left. time for some unedited, totally free free association. trees swings bepeople on swings swining red wagons calvin hobbes comics great comics mom dad of calving without names Zits comics seemed like the heirs to the throne but arent very good anymore. political comics, it semms like newspapers just put them in because they feel like they have to nowadays. not that I know jack shit about politics and thus am not the proper person to judge them! politics are aone of those topics that everyone seems to know about and be an expert on. tables with four legs why four legs?? I suppose that makes sense. takles . tables rather. very much liek glasses just holding things in mid air that would other wise collapse. wells of meaing inundated with ogres and elves, prancing about in nutshells of comically cosmic osmosis. well anyway. why do I say that so often fuck fuck fuck. what an amazing ly cathartic word that is, and i am slowing down NO cant slow down must go ahead not MUCH TIME let. left. dunny I mean funny that capitalizing a word makes it read louder that is funny hahahhahaha but not HAHAHAHAHA hahaha. wlol I hate that I sometimes accidentally say lol in real life. but why is that so bad? nothign is bad, there is no way to judge something as being good or bad so its all good! ahhahahahaha exclamation marks look like they should look, they look loud. but obviously that is just hte years of associating the two concepts. i used to collect bangaes. bandages. band aids and bandages what is the difference? is it like kleenexes and tissues? who knows. lists I could have just written a a list but fuck thats been done. hover crafts would be interesting indeed you could HOVER with them what does hover spell backwards revoh wow that is amazing that i could do that on the fly! another word to spell backwards. how about howdy ydwoh hahahahahha that is fun! what about elephant tanhelle oopes fucked that one up. dekcuf tha is good. family gy isnt a great show. i cant beleive that people think its on par with the simpsons. ill make a family guy joke this moment, this instance in fact! all over af ah fuck it i dont know where that was going, i was just going to rewrite a single phrase over and over. but seriously that is the joke, well you know that already. but its weird that the thing itself isnt funny, its just that its being done over and over. I guess the form is funny which I’m all for. contractions, what a cool addition to the english language. but when people try to make them up they get slammed! like saying t’phone well not that but you know what I mean when people try to edit out parts of a word to sound cool. I dwonder if that is how people started saying don’t instead of do not. some fucking cool ass guy started saying don’t and everyone thought he sounded very cool and relaxed and now its normal. moving on periods and commas … ,,, … ,, its lucky that our colons have two dots! how the fell I mean hell would we make all of these emoticons if they had three dots?!?!?!?!? we’d be utterly emotionless on the internet which is all that matters right? question marks also look like questions but again that is ijust the years and years of associating the two. two one xero should really nbe spelled with an x, those xerox fucks were on to something. on the the the the is a pretty overused word! its become a tad too trite if I do say so myself. sayso should be a word. maybe one say it will be! ive always wanted to make up a word. but how to do that, would be hard to communicate the ocnept it attempts to communicate with a out a a word to communicate it in the first place! rrroburos is not how you spell that either. i like words with double letters like letter. double should really have been spelled doubble to have had two letters in it. im going to be almost done in 28 seconds. what if the world ended while I was doing this and I didnt notice because I was so utterly engrossed in trying to communicate this mishmash of words running through my head?


30 Minutes

I’M GOING TO TYPE NON-STOP FOR THIRTY MINUTES I SET A TIMER AND AM GOING TO KEEEEP GOING UNTIL IT RUNS OUT! oops was looking down and honestly didnt see that caps lock was on. well this is probably the point where MOST of you are going to depart, seeing as this wont be THAT interesting. it is obviously not going to be very well thought out, or well written or well anything I like wells. I wish that we still got our water from wells. this is very fucking hard, not being able to stop for a second to think or collect your thoughts. they are flying all over the play and wow i meant to type place. thats something i didnt consider that i wont weven be looiing at the screen. okay two minutes almost. anyway, what to talk about? wehyll oh fuck ing fuck fuck this is hard. i wonder how different our religions and mythologies would be if we ohad two suns instead of one. or actually how different everything would have been if sdlfkj as;ldkfja;lskdjfa;lsdkjf ;lasdkj fTHIS IS HARDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD ooh that was nice and relaxing. stream of consioucness, i always hear people groan or roll their eyes with their words when that phrase pops up. i suppose there is something sinasdoisjdfsaodifasdiojfasodfj that is what im going to do when the word i would like to use isnt there right wawy. oww this is really like holding your breath. oaky what was i wasing pretentiousness. there are certain words that you cant help but sound rpetentious when you say thiem: paradigm is one of them. i know i had a lot of others but if course i cannt stop to think, i cant even stop to realize that i meant to write cannot instead of cant. well its been four whole fucking minutes so far. maybe if I slow things down a little bit. yeah this is nice. now i”m pretty sure that no one is going to be reading this so I can say whatever THE FUCK I want. well no wit asdlkfjasldk fasldjfasd buck this is SO FACKING HARD!!! but I’m going to push through and maybe try it agin another time and the fact that isnt the only time I will ever do this will make it easier. fuck this is pretty fucking incomprehensible. haha im being like a wrappter ooops I mean rapper and typing i mean . I am beaing like a rapper and saying fuck when I cant think of a word to say. Actually I think that they say fuck to make the sullables like up. ANYWAY. I think that I like riding in the back seat of a car beacuse it reminds me of when I was a kid being pushed in a stroller. I think that most hobbies we have as adults are trying to recapture those moments of bliss we had as kids playing with out toys by ourselves (OUR TOYS, not our toys as Freud might want to say). Fuck this is just horrendous language. I feel like this isdfa sdjf ;laskdjfl;askj dvakjsbfgajsdnflasdf That’s what happens when I lose my train of thought. FUCK! train of thought that’s funny. this is like one of those railroad building agames with trains running all over the fucking place , one train of thought YEAH RIGHT!!!!! Alright like usual like always I’m going to restat now and make everything proper. Just so you know I haven’t stoppe dtyyping since I started. I’ll admit that I AUTOMATICALLY hit backspace a couple of times when I bade a mistake but for the most part I haven’t really stopped. I don’t know why I decided to do this I know that no one will read it. ALRIGHT RESTARTING A CLEAN FRESH SLATE AND FROM NOW ON THINGS WILL BE WELL WRITTEN AND COMPREHENSIBLE!!!! IF YOU WERE SKIMMING AHEAD TO SEE IF IT GETS BETTER OR GETS LIKE ENGLIGH YOU CAN START READING HERE!!! Wow pretentiousness, that was what I was talking about earlier. I get reminded by that of phrases that people use in movies that are IMPOSSIBLE TO say in real life without sounding entirely fucking pretentious. Like “here we go”, try saying that in daily like and wee how well that goes over. Well this is NOT going well but I’ve eaten up a good ten minutes already. Alright lets be a little bit meta WAIT THIS IS THE REAL POINT WHERE THINGS WILL GET COMPREHENSIBLE SO IF YOU ARE SKIPPING AHEAD SKIP TO HERE!!!! >A<SJ@#UR)@#(*$)(@R)(@#*$)(@#*$ A couple of symbolys to get your attention, nice! So lets be meta and write about the process of this writing! But fuck THAT sounded pretentious. Alright is this ‘stream of consciousness’ is what I was wtiying Im ean asdfj askdj fal;skdjfasjd trying to answer easeirely . Fuck that just writing whatever gcomes to mind is berrrrrrrrrrry freeing. This is therapeutic and it’s no I mean so nice knowing that no one will be reading this!!!! I find it funny that periods indicate the end of a sentence but three of them inditcate that something will go on forever. If I were inventing a language that is the or a kind of ocnvention that i would adopt. I think it’s interesting that three of something would mean the exact opposite. Now back to what I was saying this isn’t stream of consiousness because there is more than i eam asdlkfj a;lsdjkfl;askdj f more to consciousness than one’s internal dialogue which is what I’m desperately trying to communicate every single word of here. It’s almost like being new at an instrument and not being able to get the I mean your fingers to play the sound that’s happening in your head fast enough. That reminds ofme the fuck the fuck I meant to say that that reminds me of song lyrics that I’ve misheard but preferred the misheard verisions. I will tell you about that in a sec but let me introduce a JOKE!!! Jokes are finnyaskd f;laksdjf;laskdjfl;askdj Was about to say jokes are funny but that sounds like something a sldkjf a;lsdkj flasjdvlasdkv I don’t know *word for a eperson I don’t want to sound like * would say. Carl Jung had a book called The Red Book where he wrote about his experie My joke is hould get back to because it involves time. Fuck man I think that this would have maybe been a lot better if i had written in English and not this gobbledygook. Alright why was 6 afraid of 7? I will tell you in exactly FIVE MINUTES!!! Alright sdakj flaksjd flakjs dfjust waste a okay here we go. No fooling I’m starting to make sense starting NOWWWWWWWW IF YOU ARE SKIMMING ALONG YOU CAN SKIM TO HERE!!!!!! Alright I hate it when people are about to tell you something but instead being I mean begin by telling you hoe many fuck let me begin again. this is lalalalalalalalalalalalalala that’s what I’m hearing in my head. I wonder why I never mind thought is gone. I hate it when people begin sdlk jf;ladjksfl;kajsdfl;k Argh can’t phrase it exactly RIGHT!!! I hate it when people tell you how many words they have to tell you. Now fuck it. If I had aevne I had ever TEN SECONDS to phrase that properly it would have had you in HISTERICS!!!! And that is NOT the right spelling of hysterics. thtis is WAY harder than I thought it was going to be. Well no one is reading this anyway. And jus never mind. Was going to go on a rant again cynics but fuck it. I’m gign to o wuickly to be able to phrase it proper;y But what I do find AGAIN SKIP TO HERE I’M ABOUT TO TRY AND SAY SOMETHING SOMEWHAT COMPREHENSIBLY!!!! I was curious as one I men asdojif aspodi fuasdlgajndlfbjndl fjvadms;ljvb dsafvasdfjv At one point I became curious to know if the speed at which we experience reality (REALITY IS ONE OF THOSE WORDS YOU CANT SAY WITHOUT SOUNDING PRETNETIOUS!!! WE NO NEVER MIND STARTING A SENTENCE WITH WE WHEN YOU ARE BY YOURSELF SOUNDS PRETNENTTIOUS AS WELL, but what I meant to say was that someone should come up with alternate ACCEPTABLE words, deemed acceptable by the fucking COOL ASS MASSES for words that sound pretentious) anyway I was curious if the speed at which we experience reality is influenced by the speed of our thoughts. Do we sort of use them as an internal reference point to judge the speed at which things out there are happening? An interesting study ywoud be to give one group something to get them to think faster (wcould be some inaosdnf;oajsdfl;jasd interesting ITS FUNNY THAT JAMMING AT THE KEYS HAS COME TO MEAN IM GOING TO RE WRITE THAT BECAUSE I MADE A MISTAKE) man I thought this was going to turn out FANTSTIC!! Sorry I keep saying man. I think that if I wer a girl I would also be and feel sdfj asl;dkj f trampled by the csdlkj oops trying t o sound intelligent so I almost FUCK THAT fuck the people that think or say or put down orfuck asd;lkfj as;ldfja;lskdf what I’m trying to get out is fuck the people who scysld cynically put down someone as ‘trying to sound intelligent’, go sit on a fucking pinecone. But what I was saying is that if I were a girl I would be offended by how partisan our language is. the answer to the joke!! It’s actually been seven minutes sorry that i made you wait a bit longer but hten again who gives a fuck because no one is reading this!!! Why was sait asl;kdj fa;lsdj fl;askd jI’ll put some markers here so that people who are skimming will see it By the way I think it’s hot when girls thatnk the bus driver. anyway the joke. oops as;dk f;aksd jfl;kaj sdl;fkj al;sdkjf;laks djfl;k ajsdl;fkjasl;dkjfl;askdjfl;kasjd fl;kaj sd Fuck this didn’t you know what fuck that. fuck the critics fuck the imagined idea of quality that we’re forced to lvie up to. fuck the idea that things have to be perfect to be done and fuck my for I mean fuck me for saying ‘fuck the critics’ that’s a very retentious thing to say!! anyway the joke! ******* Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a convicted sex offender!****** I’ve definitely used that one before but since nosdkjflasjk dwell anyway. I found it mbarassing taking out my lunch today to sld kfjlasdk jfl;ask djlfjrestart. goddamit I wonder if I always ahavige this much trouble writing. Well I have been typign or trying to type non stop for about 24 mintues now. lk jl;jk l;kj l;jk did that while I scratched my head with my one had. Okay what was I jasldkjsady Yes I found it embarassing to take out my lunch a no fuck dfjla;skjd fl;ak sjdf;auentehjrgaskd;lnvklajrghwehf;jksdhosDHG;jshdflncaSKDJaiuschaHU leifhr I qill plT PLt plt PLt Okay movies I can talk about movies for a bit! Nope that is a bit TOO typical in a BLOG. Fuck why does everything that gets written on the internet have to be called a ‘BLOG’. Even that word sound s disgusting. Anyway It’s embarassing taking out your lunch when y ht there is duct tape involved in it’s packaging. lkjlkj lj sdlfk jsdfl alright my faovurite slsdk falsdkj f What I was about to write about earlier because I got sidetracked with this no I don’t know what to call any of this horse shit. No what I was trying to say earlier was that I’ll often hear a lyric in a song and mis-hear it. Then I’ll actually look it up and it will be much weless interesting than the one I though up m nope (CANT SAY THOUGHT UP MUYSELF BECAUSE THAT SOUNDS TOO SELF CONGARTUALTORY) it will asldkjf laskdj I prefer the was I mis-heard it to the actual lyrics! An example comes from “Dn’t Lok Back in Anger (ADVICE I WILL TRY TO TKE WHEN IM DONE WITH THIS IN THREE MINUTES!!!! THREE THREE THREE) by Oasis. the lin e is “take me to that place where you go wheere nobody knows if its night or day” I alsways thoguht that it was “t…. that you go where nobody knows if its not our day”. Sometimes I think I can FEEL that I’ll like a song before I hear it. That i’ll have some sort of magical ocnnection with this entity that is about to enter bmyl lie. argh Life. Anyway 1:55 left and by that i meant to write fuck what does it matter by the time I write it this will be over. This has been a pleasure. Pleasure Pleasure Pleasure. Argh. Anyway I might try this again one day VERY SOON. it was actually getting a bi nope cancel. I There were a couple of seconds grouped together MAYBE AS MANY AS TEN!!! When I felt that i was actually just writing what was on my mind. It was much hard er than I thought it was going to be. Maybe I should learn to typye first! I think the comparison to the musical intsruemtn makes sense. It’s hard to get what is in my head down on the keys HAHA KEYS LIKE A PIANO! quickly and accurately without thinking about it and fucking up whats coming next.